Hey all,

  I just came back from a business trip (the LAST one...) for Caterpillar, and I thought that you might get a chuckle out of it...

The expression "This mess ALWAYS happens to me" came up quite a bit...

I was in Raleigh, North-Carolina Thursday and had a flight at 6:15pm to Cincinnati, and then to Montreal, arriving at 10pm. Unfortunately, the whole thing was loaded with crazy events...

1st off, I go through security with my laptop bag, personnal bag and a roll of decals that Caterpillar gave me (20 stickers in all... BIG ones worth 90$ each!!!). I get through the detectors and pick up my bags, but before I can grab my decals, the idiot security guard picks up the bin, sees the roll, thinks it's garbage, and proceeds to crumple them up and toss them in the trash!!!

I asked him why the hell he did that, and all I got was a blank stare (he probably realized that he goofed by then). I told him that they were worth hundreds of dollars, and Mr.BigShit then decides to hide behind protocol, and told me to go back downstairs and file a complaint and insurance claim (which takes proof of purchase and all that crap, and takes hours).

Well, since I didn't have hours of course, I had to let it go. Nice...

6:15pm comes... I get on the plane after 4 unannounced gate changes which had me looking at the board all the time and running around. Once on the plane, pilot comes on and says that there are severe storms in Cincinnati, and we can't leave until we get the OK. mess.

After 2 hours, I got off the plane to stretch out a bit (they said that we could). I get off, walk 3 feet off the gangway, stretch, and go to get back in, and the stewardess told me I couldn't go because she said she couldn't keep track of who got off and got back in all the time. Nice. My laptop is on my seat and turned on. Great. Her quote after I told her this: "Delta is not responsible for any items lost or stolen on the plane". b****.

1 hour later, they let me back on. Laptop is there, but battery is dead. This just gets better and better...

Arrived in Cincinnati and got off the plane at 10:32pm. They told us that ALL planes were held up so connecting flights shouldn't be a problem. I get off and check the board... Montreal flight leaves at... 10:35pm!!! On the other side of the airport!!! Crap...

I run as fast as I could and got to the gate at 10:43pm. There were 17 of us from the Raleigh flight going to Montreal... Fuckers all left without us... Dumbshits. I told the attendant that if it was obnly a couple of people, I would understand, but they knew it was 17 of us and that we had just landed... they could have waited. Greeeat. And it gets worse...

Her quote: " Since the delays are caused by weather problems and not by our hands, Delta is not obligated to give you a voucher for a hotel room for the night." Awesome... But she did make some calls to see if there were any rooms available... and of course, the only 2 hotels with rooms are 1- 120$ a night and 2- out of electricity due to storm. There's more...

Next flight to Montreal is Friday, 10:35am. But where do I sleep??? "Well sir, you can go to Terminal B and sleep there if you like... we have cots set up for delayed customers."

So I head for terminal B and find the cots... 25 of them... for all the people on 13 delayed flights!!! Niiiiice. So I proceeded to find a quiet spot, plugged in my computer, and watched a couple of DVDs I had. After that, I rolled up 3 MAACA shirts I had in my bag, put them on the industrial-carpet-covered concrete floor as pillows, and layed down to TRY to sleep...

Managed to get 2 hours of shuteye... and a stiff neck and back.

6am comes along... restaurants start to open... getting fiercely hungry. Grab some Rotten Ronnies (McDonald's), and decide to check the flight board for the hell of it:

Delta FLT DL5210  Montreal  10:35am      CANCELLED

God hates me.

So at that point, I head for the gate where the flight was going to be... The guy tells me, after typing on his computer for 20 minutes, that I can take a 10:25am flight to Detroit, then a Northwest Airlines flight from Detroit to Montreal to arrive there at 3pm. Whatever, at this point...

So, I wait for the Detroit flight, which changed gates 8 times (!!!!!). After the 3rd gate change, I decided to simply park my a** at a bar and check the board 30 minutes before the flight.

Of course, we ended up arriving late in Detroit (fog...). I get off, and decide to head directly to the NorthWest Airline teller just to make sure my ticket was OK. Guess what... the Delta idiot didn't register my ticket!!! Dumbass!!! I had to make the teller call the idiot up (I luckily wrote down his name...) and fix it all up, because she wanted to charge me for the flight!!!!

Anyways, the NorthWest flight was late too and had 4 gate changes (of course...), but I finally made it home for supper Friday. But I almost got frisked at the border... they thought I looked stoned... I then showed them all my flight stubs and checked my story out, and with a sympathetic look, they let me go. Finally some good luck...


Long story short? They say that people fly so that it takes less time than driving. BULLSHIT!!! I could have made it from Raleigh to Montreal in 16 hours, and that is with pit-stops and meals... but it took me 26 hours by plane.

Next time, drive if you can.

Sparky

PS: I was lucky in having all my personnal items in carry-on bags (because last 2 times I flew in the US, I got my luggage 3 days later...), because I would have NEVER got them back...

Wow, glad you finally made it back safely.

Have you seen the movie 'Planes, Trains and Automobiles'
with Steve Martin and the late John Candy ?

Boy, that movie was both hilarious and sad at the same time,
I really enjoyed it...

Cheers,
- Sylvain

You just need to make to private jet status and it will no longer be an issue.

hehehe... reminds me of some of my horror 'flying' stories...

1- A few years ago, I went at a conference in New Orleans...out of the 4 flights I was supposed to take, I only got one...which required a sprint from one end of O'HARE to the other within 12 minutes...at least they waited for us...

2- In Boston 4 yrs ago, airport security almost did a full cavity search... they got me to remove my boots, my belt and 'unbutton/unzip' my jeans in front of everyone...because they 'felt like it'... (and they opened my backpack during transit)...and upon our arrival in Norway, we learned that our bags stayed in Iceland...luckily we got them 16 hours later...

3- In Boston (again), a 'weather' problem caused the cancellation of our flight, which meant we had to stay for the night...and of course Air Canada didn't give anybody vouchers even though all the other airlines did...cheap ba&^%&%%$ !!!

4- During our spring break trip this March in Prague, a snow storm re-routed our arrival in Ostrava...aka MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!!! The terminal was smaller that the Gatineau airport and we were stuck inside with 400 of our 'closest friends'...then the customs...then the super long bus ride...then...
We were supposed to arrive at our hotel at 7AM...we got there past 7PM...and nothing from the airline...ooohhhhh we'll remember that trip for a looooong time

Now, everytime we 'lose our time for nothing', we call it an 'Ostrava'...

Ian, at least you're back in ONE piece...that's what counts!  

Quoted from frosken

During our spring break trip this March in Prague, a snow storm re-routed our arrival in Ostrava...aka MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!!!

Pffft. That is like LaGuardia if you have ever had the pleasure to fly to Alert.

Quoted from necro_nemesis

Pffft. That is like LaGuardia if you have ever had the pleasure to fly to Alert.

...But in Alert, you don't have 400+ people inside an area that usally fits less than 200...and the cops are outside patrolling because you haven't gone through customs...and to top it all off, you can't access your bags because the 'crew has the key' and they already left to go to sleep in 'Downtown Ostrava'... GRRRRRRR  

my horror airline  story involves amtrak, ohara international & air canada.  When i was but a wee lass on my first job contract in '92.. i trained the 29 hours to Chicago to save some dough.
actually it was supposed to be a 20 hour ride but there was a delay to a freight rail derailment--which was a very creepy thing to witness--riding the train, then passing by a river and seeing twisted/broken rail with entire cabins sticking out the river like match sticks

anyway, one week in chicago, the last 2 days i get really sick; all sorts of weird pains in my head. having trouble staying awake. i decided even though i'm broke & indebt, i need to take the plane back to montreal. so that it be only 4 hours, not 20 before i could go to a hospital or doctor.

get to the ohara, the mother of all rainstorms starts. 45 minutes, so heavy you can't see anything. Then they start to cancel flights and push back most departures 3 hours... i was lucky; my flight wasn't cancelled but many unhappy people at ohara.  they let us board the plane (2 hours later) but the captain says the runway is backedup.. there are like 30 planes,etc... i pass out.. i wake up thinking "wow this is cool. i sleept the entire flight) but we were still waiting to depart (3 hours later).

too make a long story short.. the plane took 12 hours (not 4). Amtrak would have been less stressfull.

the fun yet scary part of the trip was landing at Dorval. it was pitch white like a glass of milk because of fog/storm.. The captain says "We are about to start the landing.. nobody panic or get frightened, we know exactly where the runway is. You will only see it about 2 seconds before the wheels touch down". Everybody attached their seatbelts and looked out the window wondering where was the runway and great relief when the wheels touched down on the runway and not henri-bourassa or st. laurence sea-way.

So many crazy stories. That's why I drive!

Quoted from The_Pro

So many crazy stories. That's why I drive!

Unfortunately, you can't drive to Europe...

Quoted from frosken

Unfortunately, you can't drive to Europe...

Thats what you think

never been up in the air in a plane in my life and don't plan on it.  kind of weird being in trenton with the airbase here.  join air cadets back when i was young.  shaved off all my facial hair (which at the young age got me into all the bars around here) and cut my banger hair then too(grew it back punk).  but once they said we were going up in gliders and flying i quit.  thats all it took.

  but hey, as sparky said, just drive.  also might take a cruise soon.  

    but can't picture me every dealing with airline troubles...  sorry others have to.

  

Quoted from Mrhide

hey !! where you expecting to recruit people or is it the only thing you can wear after buying Genesis ?!

I sold 3 of them to a guy that was originally in the Triangle Pinball League. I still have quite a few... thinking of doing a sale...