My wife had near a dozen tattoos, and almost two dozen surface piercings when we first started dating. I......none of either.

When we got pregnant, she removed most of the piercings. Partly because I thought some were inappropriate of a mom, the others she took out because she felt more like a pretty woman and mommy after getting pregnant anyway. She got more tats after though, including a really nice half sleeve piece for her mother when she died of cancer in Jan 08.

I never considered getting a tattoo really, I spoke with my wife about it and she said she'd rather see me without one if it wasn't going to be something special to me........not to tarnish my perfect skin with ink for the hell of it.
I now have my reason, and I have put together what I am going to have a very close friend of mine and her's put on me. The same one that did the absolutely beautiful piece on her arm.

The upper writing is in Latin, and means "Our love eternal". The dates are of significance, our first date, our wedding and her death.


The second pic is the one they designed after her mothers death. It symbolizes her and her mother, and her and our daughter, so she told me.
I have a better one somewhere, that's a pic after it was uncovered and still being taken care of.
But I know our friend can do my request justice.

Don ' t want to be negative , but what if you divorce ???

Quoted from whizzervic

Don ' t want to be negative , but what if you divorce ???

I don't think it will happen. Sadly, Ken's wife has passed away.

What if you want to remarry?

Quoted from jonny_eh

What if you want to remarry?

1: There is no name on it
2: Any woman that wanted me to give up my past entirely for her, is a selfish woman I want no part of. Would she ask me to give my daughter away too?

I think it's a nice tribute.It really does not matter what others think, especially any future women, as it means something to you. Really nice artwork as well. Best of luck to you

I think it's a great tribute dude. I bet your wife would have liked it.

Quoted from ken_cinder

1: There is no name on it
2: Any woman that wanted me to give up my past entirely for her, is a selfish woman I want no part of. Would she ask me to give my daughter away too?

I think you took Jonny's comment the wrong way.  To some women, most I hope, the idea isn't for you to give up your past, it's just for her to not have to see a reminder of your past whenever she looks at you.  Would you wear a t-shirt with the words "I loved my first wife, I'm now with my second?"

In saying that, like you said, there's no name on it.  I'll shut up now.

Not knowing you personnally , sorry to ear about your wife ' s death ... In that case i ' d actually add her name as well ...

This isn't necessarily aimed at Ken, it's my own personal thoughts and Ken kind of invited opinion by posting here among the pin heads. Ken's post shows some ambivalence towards the decision.  Just like posting about whether to take a pin deal - if we were 100% sold we wouldn't post until AFTER we purchased it.  By posting beforehand we are looking for validation to assist our decision (one way or another).

Tatoos are like permanent bruises, they can remind us of past pains, and in some cases haunt us (in part because we choose to do them during a time of depression).  They can keep us strong by reminding us of recovering from a past hurt (or triumphing a great challenge), or they can keep us from moving past the pain (which is why some people regret them in the future).  That's not to say that a tribute to someone you have loved intensely isn't meaningful, but I personally prefer a photo album that can be tucked away and taken out to review or share when the moment is right - your pain is a part of what made you, but it isn't you. Ken already has the most precious reminder of his love in his daughter.

That being said, some people use the process of tatooing to help them get past the pain, a final tribute to that loss that helps them file it away and move on.   It's like writing a laundry list, you don't need to worry about the list anymore because it is written down somewhere, and if you are afraid you will forget, you can lift your sleeve or shirt and remember.

Ken is perfectly right, I think, if one chooses to tatoo, then their next mate will accept that or not be a compatible mate, its that simple. No harm, no foul.

Now if I was ambivalent about something like this, I'd wait a year for the anniversary and then decide then whether to do it.  The passage of time and acceptance of grief may make everything look different.  Or it may not, but whatever you choose, don't regret it.

I saw an episode of tatoo highway last week, where the artist actually mixed some of the guys mother's ashes into the black ink and tatooed with the mixed ink... just a thought...

Quoted from Bmwman37

I saw an episode of tatoo highway last week, where the artist actually mixed some of the guys mother's ashes into the black ink and tatooed with the mixed ink... just a thought...

Yeah I have had that idea proposed to me, and it's not something I want.

As for my post wanting validation or my title seeming like I'm on the fence, far from it.

I'm settled on this, and I just wanted to share it because it's meaningful to me.
There is no ambivalence to be found here, you just can't convey things as well with text.

Like I said, I've always wanted a tattoo, but I couldn't bring myself to put anything on me that wasn't highly symbolic for me, so I never actually put any real consideration into it just the thought.