I was asked to talk to you about my experiences with pinmame as part of my comunity service program.
For me it all started quite innocently...Like most people, I just wanted to be one of the guys and fit in. To the pinmame under world this is known as being an easy mark. So when I was approched about trying pinmame by two other members of the group I decided, (against my better judgement), to give it a go. What could it hurt...just one game...let's see what the fuss is about.
It's at this point that I must warn you about two nefarious individuals: Ian F. a.k.a. 'sparkster', sparky, 'moonlit knight' and JD3 (police are still trying to determine this mans true identity). If at any time you are accosted by these individuals do yourself a favor and just walk away. They are truly bad news. Heck Ian dosen't even know what soap is, no really he admitted as much to me himself... What kind of man has never heard of soap for God's sake! As most two-bit pushers, they will first offer you tables for free... And then, when your hooked, they will give you more tables for free... The bastards! What kind of sick people would do that to another human being!
So I tried my first game... But at no time did I inhale! Well one led to two and then three and then....well you get the point, I'm sure you can count.
Then I started to experiment with many different types of tables, always searching for that perfect game.
I still wouldn't admit to myself that I had a problem...I just do it after work, you know, to take the edge off... besides I'm not harming anyone... I can stop anytime I want.
Things quickly spiraled out of control as the pushers continued to supply tables...here try this one, it's the best!... And I, like a suckling pig, couldn't get enough. At this time it wasn't unusual for my gaming sessions to last two, three or even four hours!... Oh the shame of it, I feel so...so DIRTY! I even started to play my real pins less and less, that's how bad my addiction became.
It took a intervention from my family to help me see the light... Well, it was really just my wife, and all she said was; Would you please turn that fricken' computer off and come to bed!
So here I am now spreading the word on the evilness that is pinmame... And to remind you to be ever watchful for the two evil men who prey on the unsuspecting less evil individuals in the group and try to make them more evil so that, in the end, were just a bunch evil people like them... Albeit having fun, but EVIL NONE THE LESS!
I can only hope that there is a special place in hell for them... Or if not hell, then a small one room apartment above a tannery in downtown Winnipeg.
In closing just let me say, Just say no to pinmame... Trust me, no good will come of it.... Oh gotta go, my XENON download is complete...Just one more then I'm done, honest!
Adam
Another Inane post brought to you by the good people of ACME Corp... Purveyors of the all-purpose Thread Killer.
it wasnt me I know nothing of this. never saw the guy before!
Ha! Don't try hiding behind the anonymity of the internet my friend, you have been exposed for the true villian that you are. You should spend less time deflecting blame and more time worrying about what your partner is doing. I see he is suspiciously absent... I bet we never hear from him again and you'll be left holding the bag... Or maybe he's checking out apartments in Winnipeg already... Tick-tick, time is running out. You better hurry or all the good places will be taken.
psst..hey JD, you got any tables?...I just need a few to get me to the weekend...I'll pay you back next week I swear.
Adam(who spent six years of his childhood in Winnipeg and still shows the emotional scars)
Another Inane post brought to you by the good people of ACME Corp... Purveyors of the all-purpose Thread Killer.
Don't think for a minute that going all Ice "T" on me is going to save you punk! Your gonna be singing a differnet tune come next year when your in the Kingston Pen sharing a 10X12 square with a lifer called Bubba! Yup, better start brushing up on your MC Hammer, cause I bet you'll be crooning "Can't touch this" quite a bit in the future.
Before you go though...you got any new tables...JD's cut me off
Adam
Another Inane post brought to you by the good people of ACME Corp... Purveyors of the all-purpose Thread Killer.
Just a quick note For those of you who were worried about me. Everything is O.K....I'm all better now.
Ya it was fun at first but the thrill is gone now. I've now played every game that ever interested me.
And while we're on the subject... Is it just me or are the games on Pinmame easier to play than the ones in real life? Man I was having some killer games... I even had a few games were I was able to score close to the preset high score on just one ball! I felt like a fricken 10ft tall pinball Tyrannosaur...
Then I went back to my Pinbot... STM, left drain, right drain....WTF I still suck? Naw can't be, I'm gonna try that again...left drain, left drain, STM...Crap!
Pinmame is a great way to try new tables... It's just too bad that none of my exemplary keyboard skills have transfered over into the real world.
So now I'm putting in about 20 or 30 games per night on my Pinbot...staying up late, calling in sick to work...
Yup, everything is O.K... I'm all better now
Adam
Another Inane post brought to you by the good people of ACME Corp... Purveyors of the all-purpose Thread Killer.
You know, it wasn't supposed to be like this, I was cured!
It all started with a simple discussion about a certain $300 pin for sale... Too bad for me that it was with a couple of the more disreputable members of the group... I really have to learn to keep better company!
Adam:Sounds like a good deal to me. After all, he's only asking $300
DJ:Have you ever played one?
Adam:No I haven't, how is the game play?
Nai:IT ROCKS HARD MAN!
DJ:I have it on Pinmame, you wanna try it?
Adam:Naw, I'm not going to buy it anyways.
DJ:Come on just try it, maybe you'll change your mind.
Nai:IT REALLY ROCKS HARD DUDE!
Adam:No thanks guys, I have some stuff to do later and...
DJ:Whats the matter, we not good enough for you?
Adam:What?... No, I just have some important things to do and...
Nai:DUDE, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, WE'RE NOT ASKING YOU, WE'RE TELLING YOU...
DJ:Here, I'm downloading the files to you now.
Adam:No really guys I'm busy....
Nai:HIT RECEIVE DUDE, DIS STUFF IS DA BOMB!
Adam:OK, Ok... Just turn your caps lock off and stop yelling at me!
Nai:YEEAAHH... ALL RI... I mean, all right, now your talking.
Adam: I'll try it out later.
DJ:You should try it now, you may decide that you want to make an offer.
Adam:Why are you guys pestering me so much about this anyway?
Nai:'CAUSE IT ROCKS HARD BOOOOY!!
Adam:Nai, you've gotta lay off the coffee.
DJ:Listen if you want to still be a member tomorrow then you better get playing right now!
Adam: Hey, that's blackmail... You can't do that, this is Canada.
DJ:So what are you gonna do about it?
Nai:LISTEN MOFO, YOU BETTER GIT TA PLAYIN OR I'M GONNA GIT TA HITTIN' DELETE ON YOUR SORRY a** ACCOUNT!
Adam:Fine! I'll play the stupid thing!... There, are you happy it's loading now... Look at me I'm playing your stupid game! I'm playing it right now.... Oooooh this is cool...
Nai:DAT'S BETTA HONKY, YOU PLAY DIS GAME TILL WE TELL YA TA STOP.
Adam:What the hell are you talking about anyway? I can't understand a single word you're typing.
DJ:Just you never mind about my partners grammar. We're going to check up on you tommorrow and you better have some games in cause' we're going to be asking some questions!
Adam: ya ya whatever...
So I tried the emulation: The sounds sucked, the art was blurry, that damned midget kept staring at me but for some strange reason I kept on playing. I played that stupid thing for two solid hours before I finally put it away. So this is what it has come too, everytime I think that I'm 'out' these two reprobates drang me back 'in'. Please, for the love of god these people must be stopped. I even changed their names cause I'm afraid of a reprisal. Isn't there something that can be done, isn't there someone who we can call?
I don't think that I can go on much longer like this.
Adam
Another Inane post brought to you by the good people of ACME Corp... Purveyors of the all-purpose Thread Killer.
Ahhhhh........There's simply no substitute for the real thing whether its pinball or some of the other fine things in life (Nudge, Nudge, say no more!)
goodicksa
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